8/7/16 - 8 of the Worst Things to Say When Networking
8 of the Worst Things to Say When Networking
Most networkers try to be on their best behavior and be compelling. Many fall short or worse offend with phrases like these.
BY KEVIN DAUM
http://www.inc.com/kevin-daum/8-of-the-worst-things-to-say-when-networking.html
In some ways, networking has recently changed. It used to be reserved for gatherings and parties, but today networking can happen online as well. With all the increased communication and casual aspects of the Internet, knowing the safe and effective things to say is challenging at best.
At worst, people can miss the mark with a comment and even offend the very people they are trying to impress. Ignorance, confusion, and nerves often lead people to make major verbal mistakes that cannot be undone. If people slow down and think about their comments, they probably can avoid committing an unnecessary faux pas.
In case you don't have the time to think carefully before opening your mouth or typing that next message, you might want to memorize eight of the worst things to say during networking that you should avoid at all costs.
1. Profanity.
Swearing used to be for bars and sports arenas, but these days it is tolerated more in business. That said, don't be so quick to throw off your favorite four-letter word at every chance you get. You have no way of knowing how the other person will react. Some people might find the use of such words as aggressive, especially if the delivery is not well-handled. Moreover, it might make you look unprofessional and lacking in discretion. Keep the swearing limited, unless you really know the audience or live in New York City like me.
2. "I'm struggling..."
The moment you start talking about how things are not going your way, you project a sense of insecurity. Networking is about opportunities for growth and value, not desperation. People don't want to engage with more needy people. Rather than discussing your failures, engage people with your aspirations and desires. That will transmit a sense of drive that is very attractive to others.
3. "Can you get me a job?"
Unless someone offers right away, requesting employment puts others in an uncomfortable, awkward position. They may not know you well enough and you are asking them to put their reputation at stake. Use networking to begin conversations and relationships that will show off your value. If you are truly worthy, the time will come to discuss how to get you aboard.
4. "What's in it for me?"
It's good to have self-interest, but leading with it shows you to be selfish and uncaring. Look for mutually beneficial opportunities and show that you can put others first in a way that brings value to all. People want to work with partners, not hoarders.
5. "Here's my card."
By pushing your card, you are imposing yourself on others with the expectations of continuing the conversation. Most of the time they will simply be polite and forget you. Instead, ask for their card and if you can contact them. Then send them something relevant and of value so they have reason to re-engage.
6. "That idea doesn't make any sense."
The last thing most people want to hear is that their idea sucks. If you don't agree with it and think they are down the wrong path, ask them questions that will help lead them to the same conclusion. This will allow them to reflect on the conversation and feel that they have obtained value from talking with you.
7. "I'm drunk" or "I'm a little tipsy."
People may like to party, but they trust those who can show self-control. If people are privy to your state of inebriation, they will take you less seriously and you will wind up making a mockery of yourself in an environment that you were hoping to conquer.
8. Nothing.
A little silence can make you look smart. Total silence will make you go unnoticed and unmemorable. Try to engage people in pleasant conversation at the very least. Failing to inspire people will at least give you the opportunity to analyze what works and doesn't work in a social setting so that you can inspire the next person that you meet.